A Little More of That West Texas Talk

Here are a few more West Texas sayings that didn't fit into yesterday's post:

The chances are slim to none, and slim done got up and left

Tired of listening to a line, or tired of listening to a telephone solicitor: I've got a cow; I don't need your bull

If it wud'n for the flies, she'd have no friends at all

You're looking at me like a cow at a new fence 

Smiling like a jackass eating cactus

If dumb was dirt, he'd cover about an acre

Here are some handy words and phrases:

I might could do that

I was just fixin' to do that

Y’all, and its plural, ALL y’all

A little guide to some of the words you will hear: 

All = oil

Ass = ice, or iced (Note: When your waitress asks if you want ass-tea, don't be offended)

Far = fire 

Hah, h'ar yew = Hi, how are you?

Tard = tired

Last, but not least, here's a little West Texas jibe at Yankees:

Yankees are kinda like hemorrhoids, they're not too bad when they come down and go back up, but they're a real pain in the butt when they come down and stay.