Something Else You Need to Know About Clovis

I've been noticing lately that a lot of the cars here with out of state plates--and there are so many from everywhere in the country these days in Clovis--tend to ignore the speed limit and tear along merrily on their way out to the Base.

Beware!! I, too, used to drive at whatever speed seemed reasonable, given the road and traffic conditions. DON'T DO IT! OBSERVE THE POSTED SPEED LIMITS VERY CAREFULLY! Sorry to shout, but I can't convince you of this fast enough and loud enough.

Look out for Sycamore Street. Driving along it you will pass a middle school that does not have a decreased speed limit, but all along that cursed street the speed is posted at 35 mph. Do it. Concealed somewhere along there--sometimes in the church parking lot--is the Clovis police guy my family now calls Sgt. Sycamore.

He is like one of those tricky spiders. He will hide, then he will dart out to get you. I was driving my sister to the emergency room when he got me. Did he worry about her health? Noooo. He was more concerned that I was a) speeding 7 mph over the limit and b) (gulp) unable to produce my current proof of insurance card, which I had apparently forgotten to put in the glovebox when I had received it.

So, I got not one, but TWO tickets. I hadn't gotten any kind of moving violation since I was 17, so this ruined a pretty long-standing record for me. I was able to talk to the nice judge and produce my danged insurance card the next day, so only had to pay for one ticket, but my record was ruined.

Every day on Norris Street I see you guys from Hawaii and Alaska and Connecticut just bowling along. What you probably don't realize is that the speed limit there changes quickly from 45 to 40 to 45 to 35 to 15-when-flashing, back to 35 and then to 45 again--all within a few blocks. And here's the trick: The speed limits are all different on the other side of the street, so cars on one side are, for example, required to travel at no more than 40, while their neighbors in the next lane going the other way must not exceed 35 in the 20 feet or so where that is the limit.

One of these days, the Clovis Police Chief is going to let Sgt. Sycamore come over to Norris, and he is going to FEAST on you guys.

Just don't say I didn't warn you. Oh, and anybody want to buy a house?